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Archive for April, 2018

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***The beauty of not being confined to one mans perception of God, has delivered the greatest freedom and understanding of the holiest of holy. My prayer is that when you read these intimate experiences, you to will encounter His greatness.***

I am about to share something so sacred that I have kept it hidden in a bible for almost two years now. I have shared it with only one or two other souls. Today, I felt a pressing need to share it with the world.

I was not born Catholic. This is certainly not the norm growing up in New England. Everyone I knew was Catholic. The ideologies of religion that I did learn was Catholicism based since it was what everyone around me practiced. However, having my own experience in heaven, and connection to Jesus most wouldn’t believe, I always sought out and trusted my own daily experiences with Him over organized religion. This kept me open and curious, which meant I was always seeking to find Him.

When I planned to experience Fatima in Portugal, my expectations were low. I had envisioned a similar experience I had at the Vatican a decade ago, when I couldn’t feel God, instead of cold shell of museum that was supposed to signify him. Boy was I incredibly wrong to assume this.

As a born again Christian, my organized “religion” often doesn’t put value on saints, or on the power of Mary. As you may have guessed, I also don’t buy into everything my own church feeds me either. So I went into Fatima, open to experience whatever it was willing to teach me about Jesus.

The moment I had a toe into the grounds of Fatima, I heard Jesus loud and clear say to me, “My light fills your cup”. He repeated it to me hundreds of times over and over again.

I went into the larger church feeling a bit complacent. Again taking note of my time in Italy, and how I felt Jesus more standing on the dirt ground of the Duomo in Milan, than anywhere in Rome.  I was not pleased with the selling of candles at Fatima, that the idea was the bigger the candle the bigger the prayer was heard. I was also not pleased that you had to pay to leave flowers or prayers at the altar. To me, this was more of a man’s operation, and less of a God one. Money is never the answer to God’s love, attention, or intention.

We got to the small chapel built on the exact grounds, that in 1917 Mother Mary appeared to three children. I did not know the story before entering this holy ground, which is proof to me that my experience was as authentic as possible. In fact, I knew nothing of Mary, other than being the Mother of Jesus. I had no personal encounter with her greatness, prior to this particular day at Fatima.

I sat down on a bench in the chapel, and a flood gate of light bathed over me. I wanted to pray, but was told not to do in stillness. In fact, I was commanded to get up and pray outside around the parameter of this chapel. So I did. I may have looked pretty crazy, as I was visibly talking “to myself” in circles around this area. I knew better than to announce i was in fact having a dialogue with Jesus.

After about a half hour of going around, and around in walking prayer, Jesus told me I was to sit under the tree and write. Write? How was I to write? Then I remembered I had a miniature journal in my tiny bag and a pen. I looked up and under the symbolistic tree that I had no idea behind the story of, I sat and took the pen and paper out, and she started to speak.

Mother Mary. Clear as day.

She said :                                                                                                                                                “I love that you seek simplicity in me and Jesus. You aren’t sold by a shrine, but by the heart. You are a mother as I am. Hear me when I tell you this-You are born to be the light of the world. You are to seek the truths and re-write the wrongs. Love is boundless. I am boundless. You, my sweet dear… boundless. Seek nothing less than to write the truths. Today July 8, 2016, The King of kings-the Lord of Nazareth has set you on fire. You will see things you never thought possible. You will be the mouth of Jesus. Stand tall in this. The devil wants you to believe you are less deserving. He wants you to believe your connection isn’t important and you will be deceived by Christian’s that you love. Love comes in many shapes and forms. Live this. Preach this. Your love for your children, your husband, your soul best friend is all love in different dimensions. Be Still. When all else feels overwhelming and confusing BE STILL. He knows you. He loves you. You are special to Him. He brought you back to be His mouth. Bring your light to the world.”

This is the excerpt I wrote down word for word. I was then told to stop writing and go back to walking and praying. As an obedient daughter, I did. I was told to walk to the far end of the marble mall area where there is a huge cross and back. As I did this, I heard the voices of Mary and Jesus go back and forth. They told me I was to write. They told me I was to speak-eventually in front of hundreds-possibly thousands. They told me I would offend many who thought only in their own rigidity of knowing Him. They told me many in my own faith will turn their backs on me. They told me I was to walk knowing His truth and not to be deceived by the evil one. I was often told again and again, “My light fills your cup” and that “love is love is love is love”. I was also told many times by Jesus that in Him I was “white and as pure as snow”.

After prayer, I met up with my family. At this time we were getting ready to leave when my sick father in-law wanted to hear the ending of the only English translated mass in the small chapel happening that day. So I stood there with him. The priest said something in Portuguese, and I heard Jesus say to me, “Listen my daughter”. The priest translated it in English, “You are as white and as pure as snow my child”. I literally gasped.

I anticipate some reading this thinking there is no possible way this could happen. I anticipate some may think this is talk about one way of religion being better than another. I anticipate some may think I am not worthy of being the mouth of Jesus. How bold, and self-righteous of me to even state it. I would like to offer this — I am not here to boast of my experience. I don’t deem myself worthy however the bible states He chose the ones the world would deem unworthy to use in the biggest miracles. I am not here to tell you my way is the only way. It is not. I am a true believer that all ways are correct in light and in love. That we are all on a spiritual journey that is perfected as our own unique experience on earth.

So yes, I am a born again Christian, that LOVES worship music, laying of hands, reiki, yoga, reading the bible, the power of healing stones, the sound of Tibetan singing bowls, seeing BE STILL and a cross tattooed on my arms, hearing the voice of Jesus , and thanks to Fatima, a personal, intimate relationship with the Holy Mother. I am human that sins and certainly doesn’t have all the answers. However, I am so loved by and in love with the Almighty, that is my life calling to pursue more of Him and less of everything else the world has to offer.

When Jesus, or Mary, calls for me to deliver something. I deliver. Today they asked me to take my notes out of my bible hidden for years, and to share them with you. I pray something in this message resonated with you.

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Pictures all taken July 8, 2016 @ Fatima, Portugal: 1. sitting under the tree writing- i snapped a pic when I heard Mary say BE STILL 2. picture of the small chapel I walked around praying, and the tree I sat under and wrote 3. Husband and I in the marble mall area, and me under the large cross I was asked to walk and pray to

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Become One.

Purpose.

We all come into this world wondering what we are meant to be- or who to be with- and where. What is we aren’t meant to be just one particular thing? What if we are meant to be a lot of different things to many different people, all in different places and stages of our lives?

Instead humanity likes to look at things singularly. You must find that one career, that one soul mate, that one place to settle down to call home, if you don’t you are considered a failure.

My soul wonders how can we ever be singular to anything when we live in such a vast universe that offers such growth. I have done so many things in my life that I thought “wasn’t me”. How on earth can I define myself as anything and be held in such confinement?

Lets take today for an instance. I’m on the largest cruise ship in the USA right now, sailing away from Jamaica towards Mexico. Years ago I would have told you I could never make it on a boat. I get sea sick, and I “don’t travel well”. These are life blockers my friends! They take away experiences that you don’t know are or aren’t you- because when you plop yourself down into categorical human made labels – you limit your most authentic potential.

Normally I would also define myself as a woman that hates adventures. Today though, while in Jamaica, I taught myself and my kids a lesson. Sometimes you just gotta try the adventure. So I climbed half of a waterfall with my daughter. Something years ago I would never ever do! Possibly my yesterday self would have never done. Today, I decided to grow.

I do LOVE predictability, and the sweet softness of my comfort zone. However, all I have become, never came from being stagnant and not daring to try. In fact, I can count dozens of times I just “should’ve done it”, but instead disregarded the moment and confined myself to what left my stomach feeling settled. Which leads me to wonder have I really lived to my best potential?

Don’t we want to live by the butterflies in the tummy? Don’t we post inspirational quotes that beg us to try new and grow? Why not live by the same -“you will never know if you like vegetables unless you try it?”- like we teach our kids?

I missed a thousand moments I could’ve been braver. I also choose a thousand moments to grow and become.

I might have spent most of my twenties with laser focus on who I would marry and how fast I can have kids. Now, my perspective has changed in my forties, on how I can grow, love larger, and not look back wondering what I have missed.

The lesson is in the trying. The truth is our authenticity doesn’t come from a singular playing field of predictable experiences. Our authenicity comes from butterflies in the stomach, and the joy of saying “I didn’t think I could -but I did”. Have faith, and give yourself grace! You will get there!

Next time you look out and see the vastness of the universe, promise yourself- I’ll try a little harder. I’m willing to become a little closer to who I am ultimately becoming. Don’t limit yourself for the “safe as could be” mentality. Take the adventure. Move to the place. Hold the persons hand. Say how you truly feel even if your voice shakes. Go on the boat sea sick. 94320858-8611-4AD9-9672-5713B2472E3E

Because the ultimate becoming – is when we – and the stars – become one.

Our last breath. The moment we can say – my purpose was to go deeper.

 

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Undone To Become

80404DBD-7C7E-4C86-AEF7-00B5BF2CFBC0She has come undone a million times to reinvent herself. It’s the steep rollercoaster of trials and triumphs that make a person gain a back bone and soften their heart simultaneously. She looks different by the eyes that once knew her as their own version of what they molded they thought she should be. They don’t understand why she is so pliable for change and reject her. She is marked and willing by the one and only.  Do you hear me? …MARKED AND WILLING!!!!

She is me. I am her.

Since last stumbling on this sacred space I created, I have morphed into someone I’m proud to know and be. This doesn’t come without battle scars, sins, or pain. This does however include a growth of heart, a grounding of soul, and a vision of purpose. These are fruits that are grown out of the pain and joy of life. Glorious fruits I have labored for the years I have been absent here. It’s time I share them with you!

I got lost for a moment. I forgot my divine purpose and gave it to other humans to figure out. Never do this my friends! Never give any human power over your divine connection (God/Jesus/Universe – whatever your connect with that serves you).

I last saw you here when I declared to write nothing but the truth of God. I still stand in that declaration- just this time with both feet! Prior it was a half truth, as I got caught up in man made dogma, and less on the God I know intimately.

My words, visions, and experiences, have been divinely gifted to me, not to sit idle silenced in fear, but to shout from the mountain tops the glory of the Lord. I am honored and humbled He chose to use me to do so.

My prayer for this space is whatever words pour through me, may they bless you, ignite you, and deliver you the love you deserve.

Be exactly who God made you to be. Give no apologies to others who wish to make you someone else. You are made perfectly for a reason.

First she became undone in order to become.

If the Bible is your thing – here is a few verses that inspired this: Psalm 85:10-13 Loving-kindness and truth have met together. Peace and what is right and good have kissed each other. Truth comes up from the earth. And what is right and good looks down from heaven. Yes, the Lord will give what is good. And our land will give its fruit. What is right and good will go before Him and make a way for His steps.

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