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Archive for May, 2019

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A year ago, at this time of year, I knew I had to go. I knew the career I had invested years in, was no longer fitting who I am. When contemplating leaving a job that provides you with a steady income, benefits, tenure, summers off, and stability, one might say leaving is almost impossible. The position I have held for years was the one I most wanted while in grad school for social work. It also is the most sought after. Why would I ever what to leave?

Although my list is many, my short version is, I found myself barely able to get out of bed for months. This had become my norm. I would give ALL I had to those in my presence in the day, that I left with nothing for my own family, or myself. When I took notice of this, I begged the Lord for a breakthrough and a change.

The part that needs to be clear is, we don’t plant seeds to eat the fruit right away. This was a long time coming and a process I had fed for a very long time. True desired growth isn’t something we wake up to. We get planted, grow our roots, sprout, and THEN BLOOM. However in that process, especially when in the dirt and fighting to break through, we MUST seek GOD. The reason being, for all the amazing light and love in the world that wants you to bloom, there is also darkness that wants to keep you stagnant and buried. This my friends, is called a comfort zone. Do yourself a favor and don’t get stuck in one.

So there I was a few months ago, stagnant and buried in my bed….again. My daughter mentioned how I barely live my life out of bed. Her honesty struck me in a way that I had a revelation that this was no longer acceptable. For as much as my dear students deserve me, so do my family, and MYSELF.

God clearly told me who to call on for advice. Key people that were gifted in varied areas by Him, to trust in the breakthrough and the bloom. I met one for coffee one day. She is a gifted spirit of light, that delivers the world her giftings for a living. I had been on her table many times and felt the knowing of this “too shall be me”. She entertained my million questions of insecurity and charging people for what is God given. The common thing she kept telling me was, I just had to step into it. The universe would take care of the rest.

So I did. I started doing energy healings for a few months in peoples homes and seeing amazing results. I have never felt so humble in my life. I am reminded every single time, that HE is the master and I am the vessel. As every being on my table, is completely different, He delivers in completely unique ways. I have never done an energy clearing the same, nor do I ever anticipate to.

My relationship to the Lord deepened more as I practiced. I could not do this work without him. I also noticed I was getting out of bed, I was engaged with my family, I was smiling more, and I felt more me then I ever had.

Along side this time of my life, I was called to take my licensing exam to become a clinical social work. As I knew, my calling was to provide healing to others in a multiple modes of modality. I also had convinced myself decades ago I wasn’t smart enough to pass it. Once I did pass this past March, I heard God say to me “You didn’t need it anyway”. As the only validation I needed to heal people came from His test. The one I am passing because I choose to show up and be open.

One of my giftings happens to be visions. My church calls it prophetic, the public calls it psychic/ intuitive, I call it ME. I have never known my life to not have them, so it is my normal. On this particular day of prayer, I was asking for a breakthrough to rise. I was LITERALLY seeking up. He showed me a picture of me doing energy healing in a church. Dear my sweet Jesus, A CHURCH? And He said clear as day, “You will do this in MY house”.

So I did what any rational person would do and went online to see what churches were available to buy, because seriously, what church was going to let me do energy healings? When I realized I couldn’t afford a cathedral in Danbury, Ct, I went back to prayer. “Lord are you sure”. He was sure. He was practically yelling at me “CHURCH”. So I waited. He was always one to deliver on His promises.

A few weeks later I met this beautiful gem of a soul at a professional development. She asks me about going into private practice and looking for a place to rent, and I explain my different modalities. She tells me she has the perfect place for me. I listen to her pitch: “Cutest space” “half yoga studio” “dearest friend owns it” “affordable rent” and then… AND THEN she says “its amazing- it is in a refurbished chapel”. I gasped.

And there my friends is the breakthrough. I showed up, and He met me there.

Yesterday I was standing in my vision. Praying to Him and His glorious ways of making all things possible. My heart has never felt so much joy and hope. I have never felt more ALIVE IN HIM.

I resigned this week from my current full time position. Honoring, the freedom and promise the Lord has delivered to me, that I am to souly work for Him.

He is the rock on stand on.

I will always show up for Him. He is the master, I am the vessel. The arrow is always up when focused on His purpose. In Him, and for Him, I rise. My benefits may not look like a Summer off or a steady road in a unionized position with a sweet retirement if I stay thirty more years, instead my soul benefit is I work for Jesus and His calling. He will provide. I will be grateful forever and ever.

 

 

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