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Posts Tagged ‘purpose’

I was gifted/blessed with dying so young. It was my yellow brook road on how to live. The only problem with living with such a blessing is I hadn’t a clue how to speak of it. The experience was grand, and unscientific. I learned early on about none believers. Heck I even had some in my family that thought I was either lying, or had a fantastic imagination. So instead I kept it all in for twenty some odd years. A secret I knew I was meant to tell when I had a perfect platform to speak of it. That day certainly came last Spring on a sound stage in D.C. Now that it is told, and I am “out” (soon to be completely outed on national tv), I am unsure where this journey will take me. All that I am sure of is it is meant to help others and believe in faith.

I attended a party today that included very few¬†people who knew of my story. The tv show topic came up and suddenly it was a BIG deal. My initial worry was people asking questions and not believing me. My words on this topic are so hard to gather because of the grandeur of the experience. It is the utter most important part of my being–how exactly do you share that with others–or in fact–the world?

Luckily the two people who inquired were believers. One of which so wanted more confirmation of a passed loved one and all of the details of where the person is. I tried my best to deliver (although hard amidst a party filled with kids including 2 of my own pulling at me). I was still quite guarded about what I said, and every word that came out of my mouth was very well thought out. I know the person felt great relief by my story which moved me incredibly.

This led me to this… is that my soul purpose?

A natural question for someone who has dedicated their lives in helping others by being a Social Worker & Teacher. It almost came to me as if both of those major careers were mere stepping-stones to what I am supposed to do. Which leads me to two very important things I have heard time and time again in prayer:
-“What have you done for your fellow-man” (just like what I heard in heaven)
-“like Oprah”.
I know you didn’t expect the latter–believe me neither did I. Almost every time I meditate and sit in prayer “like Oprah” is spoken. Clearly I can not BE Oprah but… I can live like her (and I don’t mean money obviously). Oprah’s purpose can be the exact same as mine just in very different ways.

God centered & changing lives.

That’s it.

Now if only I can find the language to do God’s Kingdom justice. After all, every word I speak when trying to assure someone that their loved one is safe & happy, HAS TO BE perfect. You do not want to “represent” the big man the wrong way.

With this, I ask God to continue to fill me with knowledge, and the ability to deliver His message through my very special story with grace, ease, and power.

May you find your calling and life’s purpose and be on your own way to God’s greatest gift…. to return HOME.

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Special

Recently when I received some very negative, hurtful, dark comments on another blog, I began to pray for clarity. When someone in the world is purposely trying to hurt you and make you feel less worthy than you are, you naturally want to believe it is true, and/or want to crucify them. I prayed a lot about what to do with it all and all the emotions that came with it. Thanks to prayers, answers of who it is was (someone I know and never really spoke to), and that I needed to pray for them came. Sometimes people get derailed from being God centered and living their life with purpose that they were placed here for. For as hurtful as the words were I prayed that this person would find their way back. I so want to be angry, and call this person out. However, I am really just so sad for them. A cyber bully at this age isn’t exactly purposeful or centered. They told me time and time again that I wasn’t special, but dear internet troll, …we all are–even you. We were placed on this earth for a reason. Until this reason is completed we stay. The universal teaching we must never forget is simple–what we put in we get out. I don’t need to crucify you–someday you will have a life review and feel what I felt. I know because I have been there. For whatever darkness resides in your heart it can be replaced by God-loving light.

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